Body Talk

The chief executive officer of an oil company showed up at a refinery in a designer suit and tie to discuss the firm’s affairs with rank-and-file operators, electricians, and members of the warehouse staff — dressed in their blue, fire-retardant overalls.

After being introduced and walking carefully to the front of the room, he removed his expensive wristwatch (let’s call it a Rolex) and quite visibly placed it on the lectern. The unspoken message: “I’m a very important man, I don’t like coming into dirty places like this, and I have exactly 20 minutes to spend with you.”

That message was, you understand, quite different from the words he actually used to begin his comments: “I’m happy to be with you today.”

Which do you think those refinery workers believed . . . the CEO’s spoken words or what his body language said?

All leaders express enthusiasm, warmth, and confidence — as well as arrogance, indifference, and displeasure through their facial expressions, gestures, touch, and use of space. If an executive wants to be perceived as credible and forthright, he or she has got to think “outside the speech” and recognize the importance of nonverbal communication.

When a leader stands in front of a thousand employees and talks about how much he welcomes their input, the message gets derailed if that executive hides behind a lectern, or leans back away from his audience, or puts his hands behind his back, or shoves them in his pockets, or folds his arms across his chest. All of those send closed nonverbal signals – when the intended message is really about openness.

Then there is the matter of timing. If a leader’s gestures are produced before or as the words come out, she appears open and candid. However, if she speaks first and then gestures (as I have seen many executives do) it’s perceived as a contrived movement. And at that point, the validity of whatever is said comes under suspicion.

Nonverbal communication also plays a critical role in making sure the work force truly receives and understands key messages. If a leader is going to talk about new initiatives, major change, strategic opportunities — or if he/she has to deliver bad news — my advice is to do so in person. Every research report on employee communications presents one consistent conclusion: Face-to-face communications is the employee’s medium of choice. This is because in face-to-face encounters, our brains process a continual cascade of nonverbal cues that we use as the basis for building trust and professional intimacy — both of which are critical to high-level collaboration, persuasion, and communication.

There is no doubt that you can gain a professional advantage by learning how to use nonverbal communication more effectively. Getting out from behind the lectern so the audience can see your entire body, fully facing the audience, making eye contact, keeping your movements relaxed and natural, standing tall, using open arm gestures, showing the palms of your hands — all are silent signals of credibility and candor. And a good coach can help you find the gestures and facial expressions that are most congruent with the messages you want to convey.

But body language is more than a set of techniques. It is also a reflection of a person’s internal state. In fact, the more someone tries to control emotions, the more likely they are to leak out nonverbally.

Here’s a recent example: The corporate communicator who brought me into her company to coach an executive warned me that he was a “pretty crummy speaker.” And, after watching him at a leadership conference, I was in total agreement. It wasn’t his words — they were carefully chosen and well rehearsed. It was, rather, how he looked when he spoke. Mechanical in all his gestures, this man’s body was screaming: “I’m uncomfortable and unconvinced about everything I’m saying!”

The question: Could I help?

The answer: Not much.

Oh sure, I could find ways to make his movements less wooden and his timing more fluid. But if a person doesn’t care about (or believe in) what he is saying, his gestures will automatically become lethargic and restricted. What the executive needed most was genuine enthusiasm and passion about the company’s new strategic direction. Because what employee audiences saw when this business leader spoke was exactly how he really felt!

And, of course, learning to align body language with verbal messages is only one side of the nonverbal coin. The other side — and here is where leaders can really set themselves apart — is the ability to accurately read the nonverbal signals that employees and team members display.

Peter Drucker, the renowned author, professor and management consultant, understood this clearly. “The most important thing in communication,” he once said, “is hearing what isn’t said.”

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., is an executive coach, author and keynote speaker who addresses association, government, and business audiences around the world. Her latest book and program topic is THE NONVERBAL ADVANTAGE – Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work. For more information, contact Carol by phone: 510-526-1727, email: CGoman@CKG.com, or through her websites: www.CKG.com and www.NonverbalAdvantage.com.

It was an important evening for the civic leaders of a city in the Midwest. The local chamber of commerce was hosting a dinner for executives from Japan who were considering whether to locate a factory in that city. And everything seemed to go wrong.

The cultural mishaps started when the chamber president was formally introduced to the top ranking Japanese executive. The president held out this hand for a shake, the Japanese chairman bowed. The president then hastily bowed, while his Japanese counterpart thrust out his hand. To the embarrassment of all, this “gestural dance” continued for several minutes,

Then things got worse . . .

When everyone was finally seated for dinner, the welcoming gifts for members of the Japanese contingent were opened. They were lovely pocketknives, handsomely engraved with the name of the Japanese company. Unfortunately, the gift givers didn’t realize that knives are a Japanese symbol suggesting suicide.

By the end of the evening, the city officials had managed to offend all their guests – without saying a word.

In the high stakes world of international business, nonverbal communication often speaks for itself. Unfortunately, much of the meaning may be lost in translation. The most innocuous of gestures – when its intent is misinterpreted – can wreak havoc on business dealings.

Even the simplest hand movement can get you into cross-cultural trouble.

Of course, it’s okay to talk with your hands – if you know what they’re saying. Gestures are powerful communicators in any culture and are obviously easier to learn than language. Just be aware that some familiar hand gestures can have very different meanings.

For example, in most European countries, the correct way to wave hello and good-bye is palm out, hand and arm stationary, fingers wagging up and down. Common North American waving, with the hand moving side to side means “no” throughout Mediterranean Europe and Latin America. In Peru that gesture means “come here.” Called the Moutza in Greece, that same gesture is a serious insult, and the closer the hand to the other person’s face, the more threatening it is considered to be.

The “thumbs up” gesture that North Americans and many other cultures flash when they want to signify “Good job!” or “Well done!” is considered offensive in certain locales (Australia and Nigeria, to mention just two) and should be avoided. In Germany, when you order drinks, the gesture means “One, please.”

When someone taps the side of his nose with his forefinger, it signals a desire for confidentiality or secrecy in many cultures. But, in the U.K., Holland, and Austria, if the tap is to the front of the nose, it means “Mind your own business.”

Flashing the “V” sign for victory in the United States suggests business negotiations have concluded well. But that sentiment will be lost on anyone from the U.K., Australia and New Zealand if the back of the hand is facing out. In which case, it will be interpreted as a rude gesture.

The crossed-fingers gesture (the U.S. “Good luck!” signal — or cancellation sign when telling a lie) has several other meanings. In Turkey, the gesture is used to break a friendship. Elsewhere it is used to indicate that something is good or to swear an oath, or as a symbol for copulation.

The eyelid pull, in which the forefinger is placed on the cheekbone and pulled down to widen the eye a little, translates to “I am alert” in France, Germany, Yugoslavia and Turkey. In Spain and Italy it means “Be alert.” In Austria it signals boredom. In Saudi Arabia touching the lower eyelid with the forefinger indicates stupidity.

Even the “Okay” sign commonly used in the United States as signifying approval is a gesture that has several different meanings according to the country. In France it means zero; in Japan it is a symbol for money; and in Brazil it carries a vulgar connotation.

Some hand gestures are unique to a single culture. In Japan, people use a hand prow gesture (the palm-edge of one hand is placed vertically forward in front of the nose) accompanied by a slight bow to apologize for crossing between two people or to move through a crowded room. The hand acts like the prow of a ship cutting through water.

The greeting gesture that most business people around the world use is the handshake, but even that has its cultural nuances. In the U.S., the handshake is most often effusive. We use several pumps of the arm, and a strong grip to deliver an unspoken message of confidence. A Brit may give three to five hand pumps, and in Germany or France, one or two pumps is considered sufficient, with the pressure generally lighter. In Asia, the grip is often rather limp. A light, lingering handshake is generally more favored in Latin America, and to withdraw the hand too quickly could be interpreted as an insult.

Some cultures add a cheek kiss to the greeting. Scandinavians are happy with a single kiss, the French prefer a double, and the Dutch, Belgians, and Arabs go for a triple kiss. In Turkey, in addition to the normal handshake, a much younger person may kiss your hand and press it to his head as a sign of respect.

Exceptions to the handshake greeting may be seen in Japan and South Korea (bowing), in India (the namaste – palms held together in a prayer gesture) and in Arabic and Islamic cultures (the salaam – touching the heart with the right palm and then sweeping the forearm up and outward).

Professionals around the world prefer to do business with people who put them at ease and make them feel comfortable and appreciated. Cultural sensitivity to nonverbal communication plays a large part in building that kind of relationship. While you probably can’t learn every hand gesture used around the world, you can stay alert for and respectful of the differences you observe. It’s just good manners – and good business!

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., is a coach, author and keynote speaker who addresses association, government, and business audiences around the world. Her latest book and program topic is THE NONVERBAL ADVANTAGE – Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work. For more information, contact Carol by phone: 510-526-1727, email: CGoman@CKG.com, or through her website: http://www.CKG.com.