Posts Tagged ‘business communication’

« Older Entries

The Body Language of Pgymalion Leadership

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

Pygmalion in the Classroom, one of the most controversial publications in the history of educational research, shows how a teacher’s expectations can motivate student achievement. This classic study gave prospective teachers a list of students who had been identified as “high achievers.” The teachers were told to expect remarkable results from these students, and at the end of the year, the students did indeed make sharp increases on their IQ test scores.

In reality, these children had been chosen at random, not as a result of any testing. It was the teachers’ belief in their potential that was responsible for the extraordinary results. The children were never told they were high achievers, but this message was delivered subtly and nonverbally through expectancy behaviors such as facial expressions, gestures, touch, and spatial relationships.

In much the same way, a leader’s expectations of employees and their expectations of themselves are also key factors in how well people perform at work. Pygmalion leadership is in operation when staff excels in response to the manager’s message that they are capable of success and expected to succeed. This effect was described by J. Sterling Livingston Harvard Business Review article, Pygmalion in Management: “The way managers treat their subordinates is subtly influenced by what they expect of them.”

Of course, we’ve all seen instances where the reverse is true – where a leader’s verbal and (my special interest) nonverbal communication undermine staff performance and lower productivity.

I’ve also noted that sometimes these negative nonverbal behaviors aren’t all that subtle. Take, for example, this email I received recently: My boss drives us crazy with her mixed messages. She says things like, “You are always welcome in my office” and “You are all an important part of the team.” At the same time, her nonverbal communication is constantly showing how unimportant we are to her. She never makes eye contact, will shuffle papers when others talk, writes email while we answer her questions and generally does not give her full attention. In fact, we don’t even rate her half attention! Then she wonders why we’re all so demoralized.

Here’s a suggestion from my book, The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work: Imagine that you found out that everyone on your staff had been identified as a high achiever.  And imagine that this was a secret you couldn’t share with anyone on your staff – except through your body language. How would you use to let people know they were special? (More eye contact? Appreciative nods? Smiles?) Remember that what you tell them is motivating only if your nonverbal signals corroborate it.

Once you get a good idea of what you would do, take one full week and treat everyone who works for or with you as if they were potential stars. See if at least some of them don’t start living up to the high expectations your body language signals send.

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D. is an executive coach and international keynote speaker at corporate, government, and association events. She’s the author of “The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work.” To contact Carol about speaking or coaching, call 510-526-1727, email CGoman@CKG.com. Carol’s website is http://www.NonverbalAdvantage.com. You can also follow Carol on Twitter: http://twitter.com/CGoman.

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in body language | 5 Comments »

Personal Curb Appeal

Monday, December 7th, 2009

I’ve learned a few things about selling a house. I know, for instance, that much depends on timing (economic timing as well as the time of year you put the house on the market), and of course the mantra “location, location, location” is still paramount. I’ve also found out that a property needs “curb appeal.” That is, it needs to make a special, positive, and instant impression when prospective buyers first see it.

So when I read Drew Westen’s fabulous book, The Political Brain (about the role of emotion in politics), I wasn’t at all surprised to learn that curb appeal is also crucial in political campaigns.

Of course, Westen is referring to personal curb appeal. According to Westen, “One of the main determinants of electoral success,” he explains, “is simply a candidate’s curb appeal. Curb appeal is the feeling voters get when they ‘drive by’ a candidate a few times on television and form an emotional impression.”

Research shows that personal curb appeal can be assessed quickly. Psychologists Nalini Ambady and Bob Rosenthal conducted experiments involving what they called “thin slices of behavior.” These studies have been referenced in numerous writings – most famously, in Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Blink. In one such study, subjects watched a 30-second clip of college teachers at the beginning of a term and rated them on characteristics such as accepting, active, competent, and confident. The results were startling. Raters were able to accurately predict how students would evaluate those same teachers at the end of the course.

Personal curb appeal is also primarily a nonverbal process. When Ambady and Rosenthal turned off the audio portion of the teachers’ video clip, so that subjects had to rely only on body language cues, the accuracy of their 30-second predictions remained just as high.

How’s your personal curb appeal? When your co-workers, clients, and business partners “drive by” you, how do you come across? If you’d like to improve, here are five tips to keep in mind:

1) Dress for success.

Joyce is a successful educator and entrepreneur. One of the secrets of her success is the way she dresses. Even when traveling for a vacation, Joyce is in a business suit and heels. Her motto: “Wear great clothes. You never know whom you’ll meet!”

When it comes to curb appeal, the way you dress matters. A lot. Clothing has an effect on both the observer and the wearer. It has been proven that people are more likely to give money (charitable donations, tips) or information to someone if that person is well dressed. And, if you’d ever watched actors at their first dress rehearsal, you’d be convinced of the power of the right costume to powerfully impact what the wearer feels.

Dressing for success doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to wear a suit to work. Many organizations have a more casual dress code. But it does mean that whatever you wear should help you make the statement that you are a competent professional.

2) Maintain positive eye contact.

Eye contact is most effective when both parties feel its intensity is appropriate for the situation. This may differ with introverts/extroverts, men/women, or between different cultures. But, in general, greater eye contact — especially in intervals lasting four to five seconds –almost always leads to greater liking.

Looking at someone’s eyes transmits energy and indicates interest. As long as you are looking at me, I believe that I have your full attention. In my book, “The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work,” I offer a simple way to improve your likeability factor: Whenever you greet a business colleague, remember to look into her eyes long enough to notice what color they are.

3) Learn to speak the body language of inclusion.

Back-to-back doesn’t do it. But belly-to-belly – facing people directly when talking with them – does. Even a quarter turn away signals your lack of interest and makes the speaker shut down.

Remove barriers between you and the other person. Take away things that block your view. Move the phone or stacks of paper on your desk. Better still, come out from behind your desk and sit next to the person you’re dealing with.

Use palm-up hand gestures when speaking. Keeping your movements relaxed, using open arm gestures, and showing the palms of your hands — all are silent signals of credibility and candor. Individuals with open gestures are perceived more positively and are more persuasive than those with closed gestures (arms crossed, hands hidden or held close to the body, etc.).

Synchronize your body language to mirror your partner’s. Subtly match his stance, arm positions and facial expressions. You may not realize, by the way, that you do this naturally with people you genuinely like or agree with. It’s a way of nonverbally signaling that you are connected and engaged.

4. Use your head.

The next time you are in a conversation where you’re trying to encourage the other person to speak more, nod your head using clusters of three nods at regular intervals. Research shows that people will talk three to four times more than usual when the listener nods in this manner. You’ll be amazed at how this single nonverbal signal can trigger such a positive response.

Head tilting is another signal that you are interested and involved. As such, head tilts can be very positive cues when you want to send messages of empathy and understanding. But a tilted head is also subconsciously processed as a submission signal. (Dogs will tilt to show their necks in deference to a more dominant animal.) And in business negotiations with men, women – who tend to head-tilt the most – should keep their heads straight up in a more neutral position.

5) Activate your smile power.

A smile is an invitation, a sign of welcome. It says, “I’m friendly and approachable.” The human brain prefers happy faces, recognizing them more quickly than those with negative expressions. In fact, a smile is such an important signal to social interaction that it can be recognized from 300 feet — more than a football field away.

Most importantly, smiling directly influences how other people respond to you. When you smile at someone, they almost always smile in return. And, because facial expressions trigger corresponding feelings, the smile you get back actually changes that person’s emotional state in a positive way. This one simple act will instantly and powerfully increase your curb appeal.

Drew Westen found that, after party affiliation, the most important predictor of how people vote is their emotional reaction (gut feeling) toward the candidate. I found similar results in the work place. We all want to do business with and work for people who come across as friendly, trustworthy, competent, confident, and empathetic.

I can’t guarantee you’ll win a political election. But improve your curb appeal and I will guarantee that you’ll be more successful in your career.

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D. is an executive coach and international keynote speaker at corporate, government, and association events. She’s the author of “The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work.” To contact Carol about speaking or coaching, call 510-526-1727, email CGoman@CKG.com. Carol’s website is http://www.NonverbalAdvantage.com. You can also follow Carol on Twitter: http://twitter.com/CGoman.

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in body language | No Comments »

Body language and business communication

Friday, October 9th, 2009

In this fast-paced, techno-charged era of email, blogs, wikis and IMs, one universal truth remains: Face-to-face is still the most preferred, productive and powerful communication medium. In fact, the more business professionals communicate electronically, the more pressing becomes the need for face-to-face meetings.

Here’s my interview with Fobes on “When face-to-face matters” (http://video.forbes.com/fvn/meetings-09/when-face-to-face-matters)

Tags: , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Avatars get the nonverbal advantage

Saturday, May 16th, 2009

Have you heard about “Project LifeLike?” It’s a collaboration between the Intelligent Systems Laboratory (ISL) at the University of Central Florida (UCF) and the Electronic Visualization Laboratory (EVL) at the University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC) that aims to create avatars, that are . . . well, as lifelike as possible.

The stated goal of the project is “to provide a natural interface that supports realistic spoken dialog and nonverbal cues and is capable of learning to maintain its knowledge current and correct.”

So – beyond trying to create characters that actually look like the real person (instead of some cartoon-like representation), researchers are also looking for ways to incorporate body language cues in the interchanges. With sensors connected to individuals, researchers find and replicate facial expressions, eye tracking, gestures, etc., in order to give avatars the ability to express the same emotional signals, to read those nuances in people, and to adjust their communication accordingly.

Which, of course, is what I train business people to do in my “Nonverbal Advantage” programs – but in real life, person to person.

And you thought body language was “the soft stuff” of business communication. Turns out to be responsible for 70% of the message conveyed.

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in body language | No Comments »

The body language of empathy

Sunday, May 3rd, 2009

Supreme Court Justice David Souter is retiring and President Obama is looking for a nominee who has, among other qualifications, “empathy for ordinary Americans.” I assume that the president has his own definition of empathy, but when I hear the word, I think of mirror neurons and body language. And macaque monkeys.

Here’s why . . .

In a research laboratory in Italy, scientists were studying the brain cells of macaque monkeys. Researchers had confirmed that when a monkey performs a single highly specific hand action, neurons in the motor cortex are very active. For example, every time a monkey reached for a peanut certain cells on either side of its brain “fired,” creating a buzzing sound that was detectable by highly sophisticated monitoring equipment.

One day a monkey wired up for such an experiment happened to see a human grab a peanut. Much to the researchers’ surprise, the same neurons fired in the same way. In terms of motor cell activity, the monkey’s brain could not tell the difference between actually doing something and seeing it done. Because the cells reflected the actions that the monkey observed in others, the neuroscientists named them “mirror neurons.”

Later experiments confirmed the existence of mirror neurons in humans. This system of neurons allows the brain to perform its highest tasks including learning and imitating. The brain’s ability to see (or visualize) an action and mentally process that image as if the actual action was being performed is what makes “mental rehearsal” such a powerful way to prepare for an event, and why being “a good example” is the best teacher of all.

But the research revealed another surprise. For human beings, in addition to mirroring actions, the cells reflected sensations and feelings.

In my programs on “The Nonverbal Advantage,” I use the term empathy to describe the human ability to internalize the emotional state of others by simply observing their body language.

The mirror neuron system gives us the ability to create an image of the internal state of another person’s mind. Empathizing with someone, whether in grief or joy, can activate the very same circuits in your own brain as in your companion’s. For example, one study had subjects watch a hand move forward to caress someone else and then saw another hand push it away rudely. The brains of the subjects registered the pain of social rejection as if it was happening to them.

Mirror neurons explain how we are hard-wired to connect with others. The moment you see an emotion expressed on someone’s face – or read it in her gestures or posture – you subconsciously place yourself in the other person’s “mental shoes,” and begin to sense that same emotion within yourself. For this reason mirror neurons are sometimes referred to as Dalai Lama neurons, because they provide a biological basis for compassion.

In his book, On Becoming a Person, psychologist Carl Rogers wrote, “Real communication occurs when we listen with understanding – to see the idea and attitude from the other person’s point of view, to sense how it feels to them, to achieve their frame of reference in regard to the thing they are talking about.”

Reaching that goal of real communication — of understanding, of empathy — this is why nonverbal literacy is so crucial to our profession relationships.

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., is an international keynote speaker, executive coach, and author of THE NONVERBAL ADVANTAGE – Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work. Carol’s programs on this topic include: The Nonverbal Advantage in Sales, The Silent Language of Leadership, and Body Language for Women Who Mean Business.   For information about booking Carol to speak at your next event, contact her by phone: 510-526-1727, email: CGoman@CKG.com, or through her web sites: www.NonverbalAdvantage.com. Additional speaking topics, video clips, client lists, etc.  can be found at www.CKG.com.

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in body language | No Comments »

Venus, Mars, and Workplace Communication

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

We know that men have a different workplace communication style than women – but does “different” mean better?

Well, yes.

And no.

There are obvious strengths and weaknesses in the communication styles of both genders. Based on a recent research project, in which I collected responses from 387 employees and managers in the United States, Canada and Europe, I found that both sexes identified the same set of strengths and weaknesses in themselves and each other.

On that, at least, we all agree.

This study reinforces other research I conducted while writing my book, “The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work.” As you look at the findings below, notice how much of what people call “communication style” is determined not by the words someone is speaking, but what their body is saying . . .

Top three communication strengths for females:
1. Ability to read body language and pick up nonverbal cues.
2. Good listening skills.
3. Effective display of empathy.

Top three communication weaknesses for females:
1. Overly emotional.
2. Meandering – won’t get to the point.
3. Not authoritative.

Top three communication strengths for males:
1. Physical presence.
2. Direct and to-the-point interactions.
3. Body language signals of power.

Top three communication weakness for males:
1. Overly blunt and direct.
2. Insensitive to audience reactions.
3. Too confident in own opinion.

To best understand these findings, however, it’s important to consider them in the context of workplace applications and implications:

o For example, there is no “best” communication style for all workplace interactions. Women have the edge in collaborative environments (where listening skills, inclusive body language, and empathy are more highly valued), and men are seen to “take charge” more readily (and viewed as more effective in environments where decisiveness is critical).

o In all cases, a strength turns into a weakness when overdone. (A female’s collaborative style can come across as indecisive and a male’s directness can be taken as callousness or disregard for other opinions.)

o To a woman, good listening skills include making eye contact and reacting visually to the speaker. To a man, listening can take place with a minimum of eye contact and almost no nonverbal feedback. (Women often cite a lack of eye contact as evidence that their male boss “doesn’t value my input.”)

o Men are more comfortable when approached from the side. Women prefer approaches from the front. Likewise, two men speaking will angle their bodies slightly, while two women will stand in a more “squared up” position – a stance that most men perceive as confrontational.

o When a man nods, it means he agrees. When a woman nods, it means she is listening.

o Female superiority in reading nonverbal signals during business meetings allows women to accurately assess coalitions and alliances just by tracking who is making eye contact with whom at certain critical points.

o Men are judged to be better at monologue – women at dialogue.

o A man’s ability to hold his emotions in check and to “keep a poker face” is viewed as an advantage in business situations. A woman’s tendency to show her feelings more outwardly in gestures and facial expressions is perceived as a weakness.

o When a woman can’t read the person she’s talking to, it makes her anxious. Men’s ability to mask their facial expressions causes uneasiness in women, who often perceive this as negative feedback.

o Men are larger, taller and, because we typically equate mass with power, they gain an instant sense of “presence.” Females can compensate by standing straight, broadening their stance, and even putting their hands on their hips in order to take up more physical space.

o Women sound more emotional because they use approximately five tones when speaking – and their voices rise under stress. Not only do men have a deeper vocal range, they only use approximately three tones.

o Male body language is more likely to emphasize stature, composure, and confidence. Men also send signals of indifference, disagreement or smugness far more often than women do.

o As women make decisions, they tend to process and think of options out loud. Men process internally until they come up with a solution. This can lead to problems if a male thinks that the female’s verbal brainstorming means that she’s looking for approval rather than just thinking aloud.

o Men’s discomfort dealing with emotion leads them to believe that there needs to be a solution, rather than understanding that sometimes people just need to be heard.

o Because they access the full message (words and body language), women are better at watching and listening for reactions. This allows them to ensure that they are being understood, and adjust accordingly.

o In negotiations, men talk more than women and interrupt more frequently. One perspective on the value of speaking up comes from former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, who – when asked what advice she had for up-and-coming professional women – replied, “Learn to interrupt.”

o Men make direct accusations (You didn’t do it!) while women use an indirect method (Why didn’t you do it?)

o Women are viewed as less professional when they resort to girlish behaviors (twirling hair, playing with jewelry, etc.) or flirtatious body language (tossing hair back, crossing and uncrossing legs, etc.).

o Men who don’t know each other well tend to keep a greater distance between them than women who have just met. This difference in interpersonal distance as determined by gender is even true in Web 2.0’s online communities (like Second Life) where many of the unconscious “rules” that govern personal space in the physical world can be found in the virtual world.

o Women are viewed as lacking authority when they try to avoid confrontation and conflict, when they are unnecessarily apologetic, when they are too focused on pleasing others, when they smile excessively or inappropriately, and when they discount their own ideas and achievements.

So Venus or Mars – whichever you are – the trick is to know when your communication style is an aid to success. And when it becomes a deterrent. Comparing your strengths and weaknesses to these generalized gender differences is one place to start. And enlarging your repertoire of communication skills, so you can employ strategies that are most effective under various circumstances, definitely gives you an advantage.

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., is an international keynote speaker, executive coach, and management consultant. Author of THE NONVERBAL ADVANTAGE – Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work, Carol’s programs on this topic include: The Nonverbal Advantage in Sales, The Silent Language of Leadership, and Body Language for Women Who Mean Business.   For information about booking Carol to speak at your next event, contact her by phone: 510-526-1727, email: CGoman@CKG.com, or through her web sites: www.NonverbalAdvantage.com. Additional speaking topics, video clips, client lists, etc.  can be found at www.CKG.com.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in body language | 1 Comment »

What robots are teaching us about eye contact

Thursday, March 26th, 2009

After a speech I gave last month on “The Nonverbal Advantage,” an audience member asked me why eye contact is so important.

I told her that eye contact is powerful because it is instinctive and connected with humans’ early survival patterns. Children who could attract and maintain eye contact, and therefore increase attention, had the best chance of being fed and cared for. Today, infants are still found to be very sensitive to eye direction, especially distinguishing between eyes that are looking at them and eyes that are looking away.

In our professional lives, too little eye contact can be interpreted as being impolite, insincere, or even dishonest. One hospital, analyzing letters of complaints from patients, reported that 90 percent of the complaints had to do with poor doctor eye contact, which was perceived as a “lack of caring.”

Now even robots are showing that eye contact makes a difference . . .

Scientists from Carnegie Mellon University in collaboration with researchers from Japan’s Osaka University and from ATR Intelligent Robotics and Communication Laboratory found that a robot’s eye movement is key to guiding the flow of a conversation with more than one person. This finding could prove particularly useful for robots that act as receptionists in buildings or malls, or as guides for museums or parks, the scientists say.

In the findings, presented at the 2009 IEEE Human-Robot Interaction (HRI) conference, in La Jolla, California, the robot used for the experiments, called Robovie, was given the ability to combine gaze with speech. Researchers first developed a model of the way that people use their eyes during a conversation or a discussion and then incorporated this data into the software that controls Robovie in different conversational settings.

With Robovie playing the part of a travel agent, three conversational scenarios were tested: addressing one participant while ignoring the other; addressing one participant while acknowledging the other as a bystander with quick glances; and addressing both participants equally, with equal amounts of eye contact.

The team found that Robovie was able to guide the flow of a conversation effectively. When the robot looked equally at both people, they took turns speaking. Those at whom Robovie only glanced spoke less, and those who were ignored completely spoke the least. This pattern was consistent about 97 percent of the time.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in body language | No Comments »

5 Mistakes People Make Reading Body Language

Wednesday, March 18th, 2009

Human beings are genetically programmed to look for facial and behavioral cues and to quickly understand their meaning. We see someone gesture and automatically make a judgment about the intention of that gesture.

And we’ve been doing this for a long, long time. As a species we knew how to win friends and influence people – or avoid/placate/confront those we couldn’t befriend – long before we knew how to use words.

But our ancient ancestors faced threats and challenges very different from those we confront in today’s modern society. Life is more complex now, with layers of social restrictions and nuanced meanings adding to the intricacies of our interpersonal dealings. This is especially true in workplace settings, where corporate culture adds it own complexities and unique guidelines for correct behavior.

No matter what the culture at your workplace, the ability to “read” nonverbal signals can provide some significant advantages in the way you deal with people. You can start to gain those advantages by avoiding these five common mistakes people often make when reading body language:

1) They forget to consider the context.

Imagine this scene: It’s a freezing-cold winter evening with a light snow falling and a north wind blowing. You see a woman sitting on a bench at a bus stop. Her head is down, her eyes are tightly closed and she’s hunched over, shivering slightly, and hugging herself.

Now the scene changes . . .

It’s the same woman in the same physical position. But instead of sitting outdoors on a bench, she’s seated behind her desk in the office next to yours. Her body language is identical – head down, eyes closed, hunched over, shivering, hugging herself. The nonverbal signals are the same but the new setting has altered your perception of those signals. In a flash she’s gone from telling you, “I’m really cold!” to “I’m in distress.”

Obviously, then, the meaning of nonverbal communication changes as the context changes. We can’t begin to understand someone’s behavior without considering the circumstances under which the behavior occurred.

2) They try to find meaning in a single gesture.

Nonverbal cues occur in what is called a “gesture cluster” – a group of movements, postures and actions that reinforce a common point. A single gesture can have several meanings or mean nothing at all (sometimes a cigar is just a cigar), but when you couple that single gesture with other nonverbal signals, the meaning becomes clearer.

For example, a person may cross her arms for any number of reasons. But when that action is coupled with a scowl, a headshake, and legs turned away from you, you now have a composite picture and reinforcement to conclude that she is resistant to whatever you just proposed.

3) They are too focused on what’s being said.

If you only hear what people are saying, you’ll miss what they really mean.

A manager I was coaching appeared calm and reasonable as she listed the reasons why she should delegate more responsibility to her staff. But every time she expressed these opinions, she also (almost imperceptibly) shuddered. While her words declared her intention of empowering employees, the quick, involuntary shudder was saying loud and clear, “I really don’t want to do this!”

4) They don’t know a person’s baseline.

You need to know how a person normally behaves so that you can spot meaningful deviations.

Here’s what can happen when you don’t: A few years ago, I was giving a presentation to the CEO of a financial services company, outlining a speech I was scheduled to deliver to his leadership team the next day. And it wasn’t going well.

Our meeting lasted almost an hour, and through that entire time the CEO sat at the conference table with his arms tightly crossed. He didn’t once smile, lean forward or nod encouragement. When I finished, he said thank you (without making eye contact) and left the room.

As I’m a body language expert, I was sure that his nonverbal communication was telling me that my speaking engagement would be canceled. But when I walked to the elevator, the executive’s assistant came to tell me how impressed her boss had been with my presentation. I was shocked and asked how he would have reacted had he not liked it. “Oh,” said the assistant, her smile acknowledging that she had previously seen that reaction as well. “He would have gotten up in the middle of your presentation and walked out!”

The only nonverbal signals that I had received from that CEO were ones I judged to be negative. What I didn’t realize was that, for this individual, this was normal behavior.

5) They judge body language through the bias of their own culture:

When we talk about culture, we’re generally talking about a set of shared values that a group of people holds. And while some of a culture’s values are taught explicitly, most of them are absorbed subconsciously – at a very early age. Such values affect how members of the group think and act and, more importantly, the kind of criteria by which they judge others. Cultural meanings render some nonverbal behaviors as normal and right and others as strange or wrong. From greetings to hand gestures to the use of space and touch, what’s proper and correct in one culture may be ineffective – or even offensive – in another.

For example, in North America, the correct way to wave hello and good-bye is palm out, fingers extended, with the hand moving side to side. That same gesture means “no” throughout Mediterranean Europe and Latin America.  In Peru it means “come here,” and in Greece, where it’s called the moutza, the gesture is a serious insult. The closer the hand to the other person’s face, in fact, the more threatening it is considered to be.

So just remember: Body language cues are undeniable. But to accurately decode them, they need to be understood in context, viewed in clusters, evaluated in relation to what is being said, assessed for consistency, and filtered for cultural influences. If you do so, you’ll be well on your way to gaining the nonverbal advantage!

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., is a professional speaker, executive coach, and the author of THE NONVERBAL ADVANTAGE – Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work. Carol’s programs on this topic include: The Nonverbal Advantage (general business audience), The Nonverbal Advantage in Sales, The Silent Language of Leadership, and Body Language for Women Who Mean Business.   For information about booking Carol to speak at your next event,, contact her by phone: 510-526-1727, email: CGoman@CKG.com, or through her web sites: www.NonverbalAdvantage.com.

Tags: , ,
Posted in body language | 1 Comment »

Advice for MBA programs – offer body language!

Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

Many business schools are revisiting their offerings to see if they still have relevance in the 21st century. Consider Harvard Business School, the blue-chip brand of all MBA programs, which used 2008 (its centennial year) to convene worldwide experts on business education and plot its directions for the next 100 years.

The results: Deans and recruiters said that MBAs in general needed better communication skills, increased self-awareness and an enhanced capacity for introspection and empathy. HBS is now looking at several change proposals, among them a program to develop various soft skills in its students.

They haven’t asked me, but my advice for MBA programs is to offer a class in body language!

The word lead comes from an old English word which means “he who goes first in battle.” Leading doesn’t have anything to do with controlling or managing. It has everything to do with setting an example and influencing others. That means that people have to see you – and your actions (gestures, expressions, posture) need to be congruent with what you say.

And if they can’t see their leaders in person, employees want to view the next best thing. Consider the case with one Fortune 25 Company, where teleconferences provided an ongoing opportunity for small groups of employees to get up close and personal with the CEO. Time after time, employees would ask questions that had already been communicated in various company publications and through dozens of email announcements.

After the sessions, the beleaguered CEO asked his communication manager, “How many times have we told them about that? Why don’t they know that?”

“Oh, they know it,” the communications manager replied. “They just want to hear it from you. More importantly, they want to be able to look at you when you say it.”

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

Are you ready for your close up?

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009

Cisco Systems has launched its latest report on the psychology of business communications, which states that online meetings using video to allow participants to see each other can help build stronger bonds and improve rapport between people.

Cisco is one of several companies (Hewlett-Packard and Apple are two others) working on products that make the virtual experience almost the same as a face-to-face interaction. I’ve had a demonstration of Cisco’s TelePresence Meeting and it’s absolutely amazing! Using “life-size” high-definition video and directional sound technology, this new generation of videoconferencing makes participants feel like they are actually sitting in the same room with people who are on the other side of the world (or, in my case, on the other side of the Cisco campus in San Jose, California). Best of all, I was able to make eye contact with my virtual partners, and we could respond to each other’s expressions and gestures.

The Cisco report (authored by Pearn Kandola, a firm of business psychologists) found that online meetings can help to reduce the effects of culture and personality clashes. However, it also found that video communication can heighten anxiety and self-consciousness — and businesses need to help employees develop the right skills to make the most of these tools.

What this means for business professionals who used to hide behind their computer monitors is that they will soon be viewed instead of read. And they will need to sharpen their nonverbal communication skills.

In my programs on body language in the workplace, I help people learn to read the nonverbal signals that others are sending and to align their own body language in ways that reinforce the messages they want to deliver.

My programs include:
• The Nonverbal Advantage (for a general business audience)
• The Silent Language of Leaders
• The Nonverbal Advantage in Sales
• Body Language for Women Who Mean Business

Tags: , ,
Posted in body language | No Comments »

« Older Entries